My oldest son Collin has speech problem. That statement doesn't sound that bad. but, when we first found the problem and had him tested 2 years ago he was 4 and speaking at a 18month old level. It was hard to process but we got on the wagon and started to work to improving speech.
It honestly took a while for me to do anything. I have friends that are close to me with children with ADHD and Autism so you see your child and say he seems normal. He will just grown into it. He is just a late bloomer. Then I finally learned a most important lesson. NEVER compair your children to anyone or anything. Only focus on your own children and don't keep up and follow books that are usually written by people who don't have children.
When you have a child who has difficulties you constantly have to walk the edge of a blade. On one hand you want to be there and help with everything and make sure he knows he is supported. On the other hand you want him to spread his wings and try to fly on his own and learn to handle life in his own terms. This is hard to process and puts stains on everything around you. It especially hard for Moms. We always have this envision of what our child are going to be like when we carry them in the womb. No mother is ready to hear there child has problems. Sometime you blame yourself. Was it something I didn't do? I knew drinking that soda was bad, did i eat to much fish, did i not take enough vitamins. I know that sounds silly but to a Mom she understands. You always feel like you fell short. You just have to be careful not to go overboard with the therapy and drills and be a Mom first. As a Mom we want to right all the wrongs even if we where not at fault at all.
Having him home has full time has been a real test of myself. I am been trying to help him during the summer since school is out. Collin has therapy for an hour a day during school and he is doing well. Right now he is learning to read and struggles so hard with basic sounds and smashing word sounds together. I was helping him read and he gets so frustrated. "Mom, it really hard." He said. Then it kinda dawned on me. trying to get him to make sounds he might not be able to do is kind of like asking a cripple person to walk. That if I push them hard enough they can do it. I have backed off working so hard and getting so frustrated as i was with him and when he feels ready we work on things. I have to hand it to him, He works really hard and wants to learn. It's hard sometimes to realize that you have been pushing your own agenda and not seeing that he is trying so hard to keep up.
It still doesn't sound to hard. but, trust me only someone who has gone down your path knows. It is the worst when he is looked down on...not by peers. Collin is very well like and has lots of friends. It is parents and family that look down on him and judge him so harshly. It is difficult to get family to understand and you wish you could tell them off...but you can't. I have the worst time with this at church of all places. They don't realize they do it they change there voice tone and over pronounce words just around him and not with other children the same age. The handle him with kids gloves. They come to me and say, "OOHHHH, I was able to understand a couple of words today. and he was able to sing some of the words to songs you must be so proud." though I know their intentions are Nobel. It almost feels like a slap in the face sometimes. He is no different then other children. He can understand everything you say...sometimes to much..LOL! He has also tested off the charts when it comes to concepts. He has it all inside he just can't get it out. That frustration make him a bit hyperactive. He is constantly looked down upon for it.
Imagine how frustrating it would be. Lets say you go to a foreign country and you know just a bit of the language. You are starving and you go into the local restaurant to get a bite to eat. You can't really read so you try the best you can to put together what words you know to try to tell them you want some food. But, instead of looking at your hand actions and working to try to understand you they talk to you and try to get you to talk by slowing there speech and over pronouncing. How frustrated are you gonna be?? You may get nowhere and are still starving. Now imagine that same thing in a language you can understand but can't speak.
There will come a time when this will all be behind Collin and he won't remember most of it. But, as a Mom it's hard to see your child struggle. I guess this is more an outcry to people who look down on someones child. Everyone had done it.. I have done it to. Kinda hard not to when a child is screaming their head off in Wal-mart. Now that I have been down this road for a while I understand and give a smile of comfort to the frazzled parent and you should to. Trust me. Just a smile and not a look of disgust or contempt can do wonders.
It honestly took a while for me to do anything. I have friends that are close to me with children with ADHD and Autism so you see your child and say he seems normal. He will just grown into it. He is just a late bloomer. Then I finally learned a most important lesson. NEVER compair your children to anyone or anything. Only focus on your own children and don't keep up and follow books that are usually written by people who don't have children.
When you have a child who has difficulties you constantly have to walk the edge of a blade. On one hand you want to be there and help with everything and make sure he knows he is supported. On the other hand you want him to spread his wings and try to fly on his own and learn to handle life in his own terms. This is hard to process and puts stains on everything around you. It especially hard for Moms. We always have this envision of what our child are going to be like when we carry them in the womb. No mother is ready to hear there child has problems. Sometime you blame yourself. Was it something I didn't do? I knew drinking that soda was bad, did i eat to much fish, did i not take enough vitamins. I know that sounds silly but to a Mom she understands. You always feel like you fell short. You just have to be careful not to go overboard with the therapy and drills and be a Mom first. As a Mom we want to right all the wrongs even if we where not at fault at all.
Having him home has full time has been a real test of myself. I am been trying to help him during the summer since school is out. Collin has therapy for an hour a day during school and he is doing well. Right now he is learning to read and struggles so hard with basic sounds and smashing word sounds together. I was helping him read and he gets so frustrated. "Mom, it really hard." He said. Then it kinda dawned on me. trying to get him to make sounds he might not be able to do is kind of like asking a cripple person to walk. That if I push them hard enough they can do it. I have backed off working so hard and getting so frustrated as i was with him and when he feels ready we work on things. I have to hand it to him, He works really hard and wants to learn. It's hard sometimes to realize that you have been pushing your own agenda and not seeing that he is trying so hard to keep up.
It still doesn't sound to hard. but, trust me only someone who has gone down your path knows. It is the worst when he is looked down on...not by peers. Collin is very well like and has lots of friends. It is parents and family that look down on him and judge him so harshly. It is difficult to get family to understand and you wish you could tell them off...but you can't. I have the worst time with this at church of all places. They don't realize they do it they change there voice tone and over pronounce words just around him and not with other children the same age. The handle him with kids gloves. They come to me and say, "OOHHHH, I was able to understand a couple of words today. and he was able to sing some of the words to songs you must be so proud." though I know their intentions are Nobel. It almost feels like a slap in the face sometimes. He is no different then other children. He can understand everything you say...sometimes to much..LOL! He has also tested off the charts when it comes to concepts. He has it all inside he just can't get it out. That frustration make him a bit hyperactive. He is constantly looked down upon for it.
Imagine how frustrating it would be. Lets say you go to a foreign country and you know just a bit of the language. You are starving and you go into the local restaurant to get a bite to eat. You can't really read so you try the best you can to put together what words you know to try to tell them you want some food. But, instead of looking at your hand actions and working to try to understand you they talk to you and try to get you to talk by slowing there speech and over pronouncing. How frustrated are you gonna be?? You may get nowhere and are still starving. Now imagine that same thing in a language you can understand but can't speak.
There will come a time when this will all be behind Collin and he won't remember most of it. But, as a Mom it's hard to see your child struggle. I guess this is more an outcry to people who look down on someones child. Everyone had done it.. I have done it to. Kinda hard not to when a child is screaming their head off in Wal-mart. Now that I have been down this road for a while I understand and give a smile of comfort to the frazzled parent and you should to. Trust me. Just a smile and not a look of disgust or contempt can do wonders.
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